Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Forgotten Sequels: The Mangler Reborn

After the debacle that was The Mangler 2, do I really need to talk about this third film? I mean, honestly, what do you expect from it? Do you think that it will be a horror classic that redefines the genre in a meaningful way? Do you have high expectations, despite this being only four years old and already forgotten by almost everyone? I should tell you that none of the stars, writers or producers are involved as well. I mean, why should I bother? On second thought, I already watched it, so you have to suffer too. This is...
Our film begins with a middle-aged man that is not in a good situation. He is spending all his time and money on a mysterious machine in the attic. His wife berates him for it, which he answers by killing her. That machine is...yeah, you already guessed what it was. After this, we get our title screen and are suddenly introduced to a completely different character. She comes home after a long day and is confronted by her boyfriend/fiance/husband (they never elaborate) ready to leave her...for some reason. They also never explain that either. So Rhett Giles ends his cameo by leaving and the woman explains over the phone how she has also lost her job. At least her dog didn't die and her pickup truck stalled. This is immediately followed by her taking a shower as her body double bares her breasts for the camera. A repair man arrives as she gets dressed (thank you, pointless cheesecake shot #2) and it is, you guessed it, the man from earlier. He suddenly attacks her with his rubber mallet, but she fights back and runs away. She escapes to her room and hides, but he catches her again. She *sigh* fights back again and runs away. Just kidnap her already! Thank you.
He brings her in the house in a burlap sack, which, of course, renders her completely powerless and mute. He locks her in a room upstairs and prepares for his actions. Meanwhile, a pair of thieves are casing the neighborhood and look at the man's house. It is a piece of crap, bu they figure that he is hiding something. One of them goes inside while the man is away seeking out another victim. Once inside, he wanders around aimlessly and discovers nothing interesting, save for a dresser drawer full of woman's wallets. Apparently, the guy never kills men, so thanks for that.  If you are a woman, well, it sucks to be you. The man wanders around some more and watches our villain drag a woman up to the machine. For some reason, he cannot just pick his way back out the door he broke in through and gets killed. Meanwhile, our heroine just mopes in her room and does nothing- thanks for coming!  Speaking of which, Reggie Bannister is also here!
This movie is so badly-paced and redundant that it is nearly Dante's 8th Level of Hell! Let's watch the man's sidekick wander around the same set! Thrill as he notices the same things! Hold your breath as he reveals that the windows have been bricked up yet again! You will pay for the whole seat, but not need any of it, since you will fall out of your chair when you pass out during your nap! Seriously, this movie is just so tedious. They establish a couple of interesting ideas- i.e. the killer as immortal due to already being dead- but just hammer them in thousands of times! Basically, another woman is kidnapped, the other guy is killed (after pausing three or four times to get hit again) & the machine gets some blood. On the subject, the machine is much smaller than in the first film and has a line of Rupe Goldbergian-style knives and hatchets on sticks. It just looks really, really stupid every time they show it. Also stupid is the scene where our heroine hides from the villain in the little pit where all the organs end up. Good plan! I won't spoil the ending, but I will tell you that it is stupid.
*
Okay, I lied. The woman and the killer both end up in the machine, but the man comes out...again. Apparently it does not want him to stay dead, but it does with her. Lame!
This movie is worse than The Mangler 2, but only slightly. The Pacing is worse and there are even less characters. We also get no Stars that are willing to do more than just walk by the set.  On the plus side, it is a proper sequel.  On the negative side, it feels exactly like a crappy Sequel to a film that was not exactly Citizen Kane to begin with!  Almost no budget, but lots of crappy gore and nearly no Plot. 'There's a guy in a house who kills people' is not enough plot for a Fulci film! Is it any wonder why this film did not make a dent in the market when it came out? I didn't think so. Now I'm done. Thank God!  It's just a shame that the Killer wasn't actually Ralphus...
Let's take a look at some classic gore films. To begin with, a town that you should never visit! Stay tuned...

2 comments:

  1. This is one of maybe 10 films I have ever stopped watching without finishing. I think it was shot by my gym teacher in the school basement. Lame.

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  2. The funny thing is that every part of it makes you yearn for a better film. This even extends to the names that they credit characters as. In this case, it would be the character billed as 'Lawnmower Man.'

    I would much rather watch that movie than this one. Hell, I'd rather watch Lawnmower Man 2!

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